Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Well, this may or may not be a permanent goodbye to blogspot.
I'm packing up my thoughts and moving to tumblr.
So farewell, and check out the following entries to come on http://tikihanhan.tumblr.com/
PEACE OUT.

My Good Friends is All I Need

" Everything you do or say, you say or do it for a reason.... even if it doesn't always have a good outcome or it hurts someone. It was suppose to happen. It may not always be what you want... but later in life you'll benefit from it and look back and realize you're glad that did happen because life just wouldn't be the same now. Don't ever regret anything for it will hurt you and others eventually." Amen.

Honestly, I'm so thankful for my friends right now. They help me get through the days. They are my backbones and I love them so much.

Here it is

Conclusion: Move on.
Let's do it!

?

Over the course of the past four days, I have spent way too much money.
Honestly, I need a job, if I don't want to go broke.

I have also thought a lot too... but my thoughts can't necessarily be put into words or confirmed, since I don't know whether or not to stay, or just move on with life. I don't like waiting around. I'm not a patient person.

New song discovery: Breakeven by The Script

"What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you?
What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're okay?
I'm falling to pieces"

And a new Butch Walker song I recently discovered: Ships in a Bottle

"Just wanna walk away from the ashes
And take the fact that I've burned
And maybe let you know I'm still standin'
If you miss it again, miss it again I'm around"

appreciation

I made a list of things I love, some are quite rare to occur, that's why I appreciate them even more to create a list.

1. The emotional attachments I form with inanimate objects: cellphone, iPod. I've learned to appreciate these 2 objects very much, that I can't even go anywhere without these two.

2. Have you ever stared at your tongue or fingertips? Ever had the time of day to examine them? I won't tell you what yours looks like, I wouldn't know, but check it out, it may waste time, but... I don't even know.

3. I enjoy having some alone time. It gives me time to think to myself, and find out more things to appreciate in life.

4. Don't you just love the rare, amazing mood you're in when all you want to do is just dance?

5. Lying down on my bed and staring at the ceiling calms me down so much, I love it.

6. For about a week, I had this feeling where I thought that nothing was real, but was all just a dream. It's a weird thing to go through, but it's pretty awesome anyways.

7. Read the dictionary. Write down words you never knew the definition to. Find out new words. Recently, I found out that the word 'wingding' meant a lively event or party.

8. Just like #2, I like to look at my strands of hair. They are all different colors. Weird, eh?

9. When I have one of those days, where I feel drop dead gorgeous.

10. When I take the time to write out something and carefully loop the bottom part of g, j, and y.

11. That rare person that comes into your life, and you can stare at them and it not even be awkward.

12. Those days when you sit around and discover old memorabilia, such as old school work. 'Thank God, I don't draw like that anymore...'

13. The first snowfall is always special.

14. I love when in the summer, there are those rain storms, and you just run outside and dance in the rain.

15. I used to think that those bright lights in the night sky were stars, they're not. They're planes. When I go camping up north, I can actually see the stars and not planes. It's a good image to keep in your mind.

16. Come Christmas time, and you're in the festive mood, I tend to spend wrapping each gift to perfection. Although, it frustrates me when I can't get the ribbon to curl the way I want it to.

17. Who doesn't like slow kisses?

18. Those smiley potato things taste better because they are smiling.

19. Home alone. What do I do? Turn the music up, and belt out a song!

20. Two words: shopping shamelessly.

risk worth taking?

"You've got to risk love. I didn't.. and look at me. I'm a lonely ghost of a man. It doesn't mean that you're never going to get hurt but the pain you feel will never compare to the regret that comes from walking away from love." - Ghost of Girlfriend's Past

hola

Redemption feels amazing, no?

too nice

One side is tugging at my right hand, and another side is tugging at my left hand. Yet, I am still standing my ground.
Sometimes, you are told to try to find a bright side in the darkest of times. That is exactly what I'm trying to do. But, me being the little girl who is easily influenced, I am being pushed back into the darkness. I must admit, some of the things that they said were true.

Should I stay or should I go?

I'm not perfect

Falling a thousand feet per second
You still take me by surprise
I just know we can't be over
I can see it in your eyes
Making every kind of silence
Takes a lot to realize
It's worse to finish than to start all over
And never let it lie
And as long as I can feel you holding on
I won't fall
Even if you said I was wrong

I'm not perfect
But I keep trying
Cause that's what I said
I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely
So please don't leave
Was it something I said
Or just my personality?

random thoughts

this is my " I miss you so much" face

'Mood: Happy' is in tomorrow's horoscope. What? How is that possible? I'm far from happy. How can I make such a huge transition in such a short time?

Highlights of the day:

• Acing the unit test for Math that was uncalled and unstudied for
• The Black History Month assembly that shortened all the periods
• Have the song, 'You Can't Hurry Love' stuck in my head for most of the day
• Gym class where I slacked and learned a new way to do the jumping jacks
• Listening to the depressing play list on my iPod for countless hours

Low lights of the day:

• Missing you
• Uncomfortable Silence
• More silence that I can probably tolerate for a couple more days
• Everything else

I feel the need to purchase a notebook so I can have some personal entries too, instead of exposing my life on blogspot.

Oh yeah, I'm hoping for the best, but expecting the worst. More of the latter one.

this is my " I'm getting so frustrated" face

compromise

Never do you want to hear about someone complaining, "it's all my fault, it's always me causing the problems, I am such a screw up", because you know that they are blowing the situation way out of proportion and they need to get a reality check.

I feel as if I have the need to express that, but of course in a more realistic way.

I can admit that I don't have the best ability to express how I feel, and most of the time I can decode how I'm feeling through another person's interpretation. But, I know for sure right now, I feel that when I have any sort of relationship with anybody, it's me making a majority of the mistakes. I don't like it. Of course, it's difficult for me to back myself up, since I am verbally impaired and deep down inside, I know that I've made a mistake. I'd just be making false statements so I don't make a fool of myself. I guess either way, I still make a fool of myself.

We all learn from mistakes, right? I'm still learning...

The Only Exception

Slowly falling in love with this song... The video's pretty cute too.

Favourite

Yesterday, I had recently discovered that Butch Walker is coming out with a new CD! I'm pretty sure it's called, "I liked it better when you had no heart". Ha, that man's witty. I only know about 7 songs, but those 7 are enough to make him one of my favourite artists. He has originality that I adore and lyrics that absolutely capture my heart. There are other songs that have the same concept/idea as some of his, but he just puts it in other words, and he fills in the missing pieces to describe how I'm feeling. Artists (that you can't necessarily call them artists) are bringing back pieces of old songs and adding something catchy to it, but Butch writes all of his songs and personalizes the melody to his own liking.

It's so hard to find his CD's other than looking online.. :(

http://butchwalker.com/

Daily Dose of Hanna

I'm starting to finally get more sleeping hours, but as soon as I get home, I crash and take a 2 hour nap. The feeling of being able to take a nap freely when you don't have tons of homework due the next day is amazing. Lately, I have been actually doing homework without all the procrastination, but then again, the semester has just started and we're only doing easy stuff.

Highlight of today: math class. Our unit is basically on logical problems, which is pretty easy. We had a test today, that I whizzed through effortlessly. Some of the questions were pretty humorous and made me smile. They either started with Britney Spears, Mr. Big Spender, Hannah Montana, and then the problem. To top it all off, the last question was a sudoku puzzle. For a second, I thought I was doomed since I made the BIGGEST mistake, but I erased it all and started over again. I finished it in about 5 minutes. And I was the first to finish the quiz, and after 20 minutes another person had finished. I felt incredible. (:

Ventilation

Family Day.

The year family day came out, my family was falling apart. The people who came up with this moronic holiday didn't think of all the different types of families out there? The ones who were struggling, or falling apart? If they intended for us to appreciate what we had, how could we do that when we were so caught up in something we didn't have.

I'm 90% mended from my parent's separation, but this holiday to me, is just another day off.

hoping for the best, but expecting the worst

Let me tell you about my...

Physical being: Horrible
Mood: Pleased
Day: Quite wonderful

And I shall elaborate on each of the above...

Physical Being: Horrible... I had a sneezing frenzy for about 5 to 10 minutes. My eyes created a river because they were so watery. It was absolutely frustrating. Now, my entire nose is stuffed-not just one nostril, but two-both of them.

Mood: Pleased... I'm pleased with everything. Everything but my physical being, but that's okay.

Day: Quite wonderful... Today made up for last night's state of confusion I was in. It was nice to spend some quality time with someone you truly care about so much.

P.S. I learned how to play Fifteen by Taylor Swift, Smoke on the Water by Deep Purple, and Wonderwall by Oasis! I've come a long way from Guitar Hero and Rockband, yes!

and for once, it's reality.

Family, a couple of arguments every now and then, no big deal.

Friends, Why do I sense a bit of tension? I can feel myself slowly drifting away... I need a little downtime with the girls.

School, exams. I know I should be pushing myself further, but the motivation isn't there. This sucks.

Love, oh what a story to go along with that.

amazing (adj.)
1.inspiring awe or admiration or wonder

I must say, 'amazing' would probably be one of the words that has been used the most in some of my conversations. Even though I may have used it numerous times, it hasn't ceased to lose its meaning.
What is beyond amazing? My vocabulary only contains so many words, that I can't find a word greater than amazing, but I just need it these days.
Everything is so wonderful, and amazes me, and I'm seeing so many different things in a whole new perspective.
Who ever knew I could feel this way... It was so out of the blue. I thought all hope was gone, and there he came in my life when I needed someone to talk to.
Did I know it was going to unravel into this? No.
I struggle to find words to describe this phenomenal boy, he just completes me. So many times, I've poured out my emotions in tears, because I thought there was the slightest chance of losing him. But with his reassurance, I wipe it all away, and soon enough, a smile emerges on my face.
I'm truly hoping that this isn't all a dream, that will vanish when I wake up. But no, it's reality. It's all so surreal.

On the contrary

Why yes. I had to Google up what "contrary" meant.

Here it is. The big day.

"How does it feel to be 15?" "Are you excited?" "What are you doing for the big day?"

The answer is: No different than the last day of being 14, no, and nothing. Well.. ice cream cake with the gal pals!

I guess my fantasy plan for my birthday was to make it a birthday weekend fest bonanza... well, I guess that didn't happen, because here I am, at home writing on my Blog.

The feeling when it all just comes naturally, when your hopes are too high for you to even be cautious anymore... I've been living the dream.

But then comes the after part, when it all starts crumbling down, you lose the hope.. and the fearlessness you once had, is gone.

I just let myself go (and I'm not even talking weight-wise), I jumped into the waters after hesitating for the longest time, but now I'm drowning.

I should've known before I set myself up for disappointment.

Have a wonderful birthday Hanna Reyes.

Cause when you're fifteen...

Exactly one more week til I turn 15!
And since I had posted a Christmas Wish List, I will make a birthday wish list.

Here it goes...

1. Adidas/Bench/TNA Sweater













2. Lululemon Pants







3. Snuggie!









4. Talula or Red Olympic Mitts









5. iPod Speakers





















6. Starbucks Gift Card
















7. Jewelery [long necklaces & earrings preferably]
















8. MONEY!
















9. Belts
















10. Camera