Dreams ripped at the seams

Let me tell you this dream I had last night...

So there I was. And there he was. He was with me. Walking with me. I knew the end of the world was coming. Literally. I guess 2012 came earlier than expected?
There I was trying to mend what we had... we did have something, right? Words were not clear, but they sure needed to be. I saw pain in his eyes, and the little bit of innocence I knew of him.
I felt like I was pouring my heart out, because this was the day, the world was going to end. I thought maybe, for one last time, we'd have a chance to be "us" again.

I never found out.

Lately, my mind has been overloading on memories that I thought I erased. I remember this time last year quite clearly... I've come a long way.
Honestly, I just want to kick and scream until it just all comes back, and the knowledge I have now, I can apply then, so I could just change it.

Do you think of me?
Will you & I ever be "us"?
Would you care if I died?
Why is this so hard for me?
Why did this happen?
Why can't it all come back?

why? Why? WHY?

please.. tell me why...